The Ventura Swiss Tour Fall 2005

D! + La Bergerie + Treibhaus report

It all started well with the help of St.Fabien, who is always there( well, almost ) to give us
a hand. Actually it's more than a hand, it's more like an arm. Thank you Beaver.
Because as professional losers, we don't have a bus, so we actually can't make tours.
But thanks to Fabien , and to Mike's neighbour, we had a way to carry our shit through
the ( for once ) sunny highways of our glorious country.
That trip was a little one, as we were only playing three (!!!!) shows in a row, but it's the first time it happens to us, so it deserves a little tour report.
This mad tour started on the 27th of Oktober at the D! club in Lausanne.
We shared the stage with Houston Swing Engine and Scumbucket, a cool german band.
We soundchecked within 25 minutes, got a perfect sound ( thanks to the amazingly talented Gwen, not Stefani, he's a MAN, and he ain't no hollaback boy ) and as we were the only band without a record out ( which is actually perfectly wrong, as we have many, but we don't sell them to just ANYONE ) played first.
I think we started around ten , and played for about fourty minutes, what was probably the best of the three shows , in terms of execution and soundwise.
The D!club is not a "rock" club, but it's quite perfect for rocking.
We played as loud as we do in the practice space, and it kicked large.
We got some cheers, and none threw anything at us (except for about a thousand panties and bra's, but you know, you get used to it ). I've had some positive comments after the gig, which is always good for the ego. And we have huge ego's, especially Diego, aka THE ego. Except for Wicky Sr who said it was good but that we were definitely not showmen. Of course we're not...
Then HSE took the stage while we were selling hundreds of records at the merch table, trying to pretend we couldn't hear them playing.
After HSE played (it seemed like an entire week to me), we found out that the HSE's and our bus were blocked by a very long chain that some cunt had decided to install while we were inside, playing. There was no way we could move those damn buses, just because of a damn zealous nightguard.
Diego called the police to explain the situation, and the guy on the other end said that there was nothing he could do, and that the guy who had the key to the padlock would probably not come back before 06:00AM.
And that was NOT possible as most of us were working the next day (except me ). Then a (big) security guy from the club came and tried to unlock the thing, but didn't succeed.
Which is why I went to my place, took a saw, and cut that damn chain in a minute because I'm very strong.
I freed the buses.
Then I got back into the club to realise most of the (small) crowd had gone, and that Scumbucket was playing for an audience of maybe 12 people, which was really sad to see.
There are things I’ll never understand. Like why would someone rather watch Houston Swing Engine play for an hour than listen to a band that has a personality.
Well…
After a few more beers, we put the stuff back into the “bus” and all of us went home for a little sleep.
The next day ( 28th of October 2005 ) we went to play in Yverdon, in a squat called “La Bergerie”. I almost froze to death there. There were ten degrees less than in Lausanne and fog.
And a very appropriate fire in a big barrel.
That night we shared the stage, or the floor, with our friends Cortez, from Bulle, and a German heavy punk band called Zerstoert, who opened the evening.
There were about 25 people attending the gig.
And they quite obviously preferred Zerstoert, and later on, Cortez, but I think we didn’t play too bad. I also have to mention that I started the gig with saying “Hello We’re Ventura,
We’re not very punk”. There are better ways to flatter a punk crowd. But then again,
I’m not that good at flattering.
Whutever.
I haven’t seen Zerstoert because they barely talked to us and I didn’ feel like watching a gig.
I also might have slept a bit.
Then Cortez played an if you haven’t seen them live, and I know you haven’t STOP LYING TO ME I CAN SEE IN YOUR EYES THAT YOU’RE LYING, you should definitely go
and check them out. They are a three piece, guitar, drums, “singing”. No bassplayer, the lucky bastards. And they kick ass like few bands I’ve seen. Unlike us they are a “showband”.
Don’t get too close to them, they’re dangerous people. Especially Sam, who moves like a dangerous dog is after him. If you prefer, he moves A LOT. And if you need a tag, they play what I would call post-hardcore, only better.
My only critic goes to the drummer, who looks like he’s knitting when he plays. Kidding.
And I finally bought their debut album, “Initial”, which takes a few listens but is really impressing and to say the least, intense. Not a record for sleeping, though. We managed to get paid a little bit, and even if it was far from being a fortune, it deserves to be mentioned as the guys there have no income at all.
After the Cortez gig we packed our things and left for Mike’s place, trying to avoid the hundreds of police controls on the streets of Yverdon. Not that we had anything on our conscience, but the cops are dangerous people, you know, they have guns. We succeeded well as they were busy checking a car yet. I went straight to bed, as I’m a wise young-old man.
The next morning (Saturday 29th of October), we got up at 11 o’clock, drank loads of coffee
fought headaches and listened to loads of really shitty music, like Kool and the Gang, Dire
Straits and Céline Dion. And Vitreous Humor, who were by far the best of the lot.
After that we emptied and reloaded the bus because we had to stick the boxes of splits
( Disco Doom/ Ventura 10” ) into the little gaps that were left. But that’s something Mike’s
real good at. We had to take about 166 splits with us for Disco Doom themselves who were coming to see us in Luzern, as we had just received them (finally ), from Czechy where we got them pressed and printed. So we were finally ready to leave for Luzern, which we did.
We stopped several times on our way there, to smoke fags and drink coffees, the weather
was lovely, balloons everywhere, and some weird sounds and smells in the car.
The soundtrack of our trip there was the “Brutal Mix”, a ten year old mix tape from Diego,
including Coalesce, Refused , Brutal Truth, Sepultura and loads of other metallic crap from
the mid 90`s. We arrived in Luzern at about 16:00 and the Treibhaus team was already there, even if we weren’t supposed to arrive before 18:00. That’s how impatient we were. And them too. As Julio the sound engineer was already there too, we made the soundcheck straight away
And half an hour later we were ready. One of the other bands ( Lem Phago ) had arrived in the meantime, so they soundchecked next, and we were waiting for our friends of Parazit, a band from Lausanne too, who’s been around for about 10 years. Then Mike and I went to buy a grilled sausage at the football game that was just next to the Treibhaus and went to the lake for a little promenade.
I’d say Luzern is in the top ten of the most peaceful places on earth. It’s really quiet and modern at the same time. Some beautiful old buildings and some amazing new ones. And all the touristic attractions make me feel like one. The giant lion that was sculpted in
the rock is quite cool. Unfortunately we didn’t have time to go to the Verkehrsmuseum.
I’ve seen it ten times but each time is a pleasure. Yes I’m a nerd.

After the walk, we just waited for the food while Mike was hard at work setting up
the merch table. You might think this is an easy thing to do. WRONG. It took him at least an hour ‘til he was happy. And when he was finally happy someone offered him a second table, an offer he accepted but that meant he had to start the presentation of the merch all over again. Loads of worries for Mickey Mike but he finally got there.
Then came the food. They set up tables in the middle of the club and everyone eats together.
I’m not gonna describe the menu, but I have to mention the “soup”. They gave us a bowl
full of “bouillon” and filled with FRESH bread that pumped the soup. So it was like a bowl
of soaked bread pieces. It made me experience what the ducks feel when you throw bread to
them when they’re in the water. The soup itself was good, though.
The meal was probably painful because of the reggae that Adrien ( ex-Parazit member who
came with them to check them out as he hadn’t seen them live for ages) had decided to play.
That was the second time on this small tour that I almost died. From then on, it was beer that fed us for the rest of the night. And some Zweifel peanuts. Very good peanuts by the way.
So at 22:00 (sharp) we entered the stage for the last of the three gigs, already sad because we knew it would be long ( a month ) before we could make another one. We didn’t play too bad and the reaction of the people who were there was quite enthusiastic. Again, we were loud. We played our set and completely fucked up the last song , “let yourself go”, because I wasn’t in tune, and also I shouldn’t have allowed Mike go get me a beer DURING the gig.
Well well well.
After the “show”, we spent a bit of time with the Doomies ( members of Disco Doom, for those who are unfamiliar with this humanly and musically great band ) and talked about how good looking our split is. IT IS. I’m personally much satisfied with it. And Gabri likes our song so I’m flattered. He knows how to flatter a punk. HA ha.
They left quite quickly after the gig so we had no choice but get drunk on Appenzeller beer.
We spent the rest of the night hanging out with people of Parazit and the Treibhaus team
drinking more beer and therefore talking louder and louder. The bad moment was when we realised the fridge was empty. And believe me they
are generous about beers. So we hassled the guy at the bar to get some malt juice supplement
talking in what was supposed to be English and going “Oi! MATE! A PINT!” for what must
have seemed an eternity to him.
We ended up quite drunk, but we (well , at least I) have had a great evening there.
At about 04:00 AM we left the club with Mario, who took us to his place to sleep.
Mario is the (very nice and talented) guy who makes the posters for the “FELIX TRAüMT”
evenings at the Treibhaus, that are quite post-rock orientated. He has made a beautiful poster
for the Ventura/Parazit/Lem Phago gig, that represents a drawn close up of a ventilator.
He had done one for the Illford/ Room 204 gig we did earlier this year ( Illford is a post-rock
band I happen to play in too ) and it’s very close to be perfect (No, not the band, the poster)
(But the band is not bad, in fact)
Mario lives in a very nice house (his parents’) and each one of us had a room for himself.
Better than a hotel. We even had a little folded towel waiting on the bed for the next morning,
Amazing.
We got up at 11:00 the next morning, and I couldn’t believe the view I had from “my” bed.
The Mt.Pilatus majestically dominating the city of Luzern in that beautiful autumn light.
It’s my own country and I think I’ve rarely seen such a beautiful view.
But then again I’m not a big traveller…
So after the breakfast ( the first in years for me, not because I can’t afford food but because
I usually drink the coffee that leads to the cigarette ) we quickly left for the Treibhaus
where we had left all the amps and guitars and stuff. We made a little detour via
the aforementioned sculpted-in-the-rock lion, took a few pics , crossed the wood bridge
and after half an hour of walk we arrived at the Treibhaus, where Fish ( the guy behind the
Felix Traümt eves ) offered us a much welcome coffee.
Do I need to say that if you can play there or if you can go to see a gig there,you should go?
NO.YOU JUST GO..
They are nice people taking care of a nice place in a nice city.
We packed all the shit into the Citroen Berlingo , said goodbye to Mario and Fish and hit
the road.
There’s not much to say about the trip back home. Diego was dead tired, he didn’t open
his fooking mouth all the way, but that’s how he is. He’s never happy. He’s just a moaning golfer. YES, HE PLAY S GOLF.
Well, to conclude this thrilling tour report I can say this: it must be exhausting to do that on more than three days, but I can’t imagine a better way to meet people, and ultimately a better way to live. I loved these three days.

Phil